I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Church boner. Awkwardddd
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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