I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
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