Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
