U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
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