I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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