Texts From Last Night

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  (352): View more from Florida

  I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.

  (904): View more from Florida

  You stay classy.

  (352): View more from Florida

  The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.

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  (352): I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF. (904): You stay classy. (352): The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on. http://tfl.nu/3w00
  Replies (18) Good night (772) Bad night (4685)
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  (716): View more from New York

  it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.

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  (716): it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis. http://tfl.nu/lwww
  Replies (57) Good night (6061) Bad night (992)
• Favorite

  (586): View more from Michigan

  i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..

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  (586): i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed.. http://tfl.nu/gekz
  Replies (34) Good night (5621) Bad night (1056)
• Favorite

  (650): View more from California

  I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets

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  (650): I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets http://tfl.nu/bg6i
  Replies (28) Good night (4669) Bad night (2119)
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.

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  (708): She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin. http://tfl.nu/wbej
  Replies (24) Good night (1851) Bad night (6791)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.

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  (310): He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical. http://tfl.nu/e9fk
  Replies (12) Good night (4434) Bad night (794)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"

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  (702): So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this" http://tfl.nu/lsrz
  Replies (17) Good night (4164) Bad night (1524)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?

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  (916): she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now? http://tfl.nu/pv3x
  Replies (4) Good night (774) Bad night (2615)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...

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  (970): No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand... http://tfl.nu/1d8q
  Replies (10) Good night (795) Bad night (4885)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable

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  (425): Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable http://tfl.nu/av4s
  Replies (8) Good night (3036) Bad night (758)
• Favorite

  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  I feel like everything in this room is sweating

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  (506): I feel like everything in this room is sweating http://tfl.nu/iaml
  Replies (2) Good night (737) Bad night (1105)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?

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  (513): Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail? http://tfl.nu/pghy
  Replies (6) Good night (1576) Bad night (529)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me

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  (217): i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me http://tfl.nu/3gz2
  Replies (2) Good night (1302) Bad night (644)
• Favorite

  (647): View more from Ontario

  You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws

  (416): View more from Toronto

  That explains the stains on my shirt

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  (647): You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws (416): That explains the stains on my shirt http://tfl.nu/ptlu
  Replies (3) Good night (1392) Bad night (500)
• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter

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  (760): The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter http://tfl.nu/uanv
  Replies (6) Good night (978) Bad night (505)

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