Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
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I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
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TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad