I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
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and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
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dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.