god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
25 Adults Reveal The Most Embarrassing Stories From When They Were Kids
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.