I think I just saw someone hide a body.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.