Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
He just brought a live lobster to the party.