Texts From Last Night

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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased

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  (617): Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased http://tfl.nu/sw63
  Replies (19) Good night (3874) Bad night (1015)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.

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  (425): i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice. http://tfl.nu/fg4t
  Replies (45) Good night (21010) Bad night (1030)
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  (530): View more from California

  Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.

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  (530): Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls. http://tfl.nu/qy86
  Replies (27) Good night (894) Bad night (7396)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.

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  (517): just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out. http://tfl.nu/s711
  Replies (21) Good night (1432) Bad night (7551)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.

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  (484): I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game. http://tfl.nu/ixaa
  Replies (8) Good night (1539) Bad night (617)
• Favorite

  (830): View more from Texas

  Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?

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  (830): Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas? http://tfl.nu/xrcg
  Replies (7) Good night (1800) Bad night (633)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business

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  (412): I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business http://tfl.nu/ujri
  Replies (8) Good night (1123) Bad night (810)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.

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  (215): Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video. http://tfl.nu/ct0i
  Replies (5) Good night (2378) Bad night (828)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.

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  (917): Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am. http://tfl.nu/94x6
  Replies (2) Good night (1690) Bad night (881)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.

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  (202): I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school. http://tfl.nu/85a4
  Replies (7) Good night (1959) Bad night (544)
• Favorite

  (787): View more from Puerto Rico

  Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.

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  (787): Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move. http://tfl.nu/dnyd
  Replies (8) Good night (410) Bad night (803)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle

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  (832): I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle http://tfl.nu/p7zs
  Replies (0) Good night (725) Bad night (357)
• Favorite

  (787): View more from Puerto Rico

  She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian

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  (787): She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian http://tfl.nu/g8gz
  Replies (3) Good night (414) Bad night (720)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out

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  (703): sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out http://tfl.nu/kkie
  Replies (2) Good night (568) Bad night (262)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Marry me.

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  (970): Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on. (303): Marry me. http://tfl.nu/s9nf
  Replies (5) Good night (1113) Bad night (214)

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