Texts From Last Night

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  (214): View more from Texas

  someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet

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  (214): someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet http://tfl.nu/kl5a
  Replies (23) Good night (3780) Bad night (679)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took

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  (770): he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took http://tfl.nu/2ren
  Replies (47) Good night (7091) Bad night (1159)
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  (260): View more from Indiana

  Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.

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  (260): Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens. http://tfl.nu/pxin
  Replies (31) Good night (11713) Bad night (1371)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.

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  (412): he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor. http://tfl.nu/z7yu
  Replies (34) Good night (11544) Bad night (1711)
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  (707): View more from California

  She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.

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  (707): She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her. http://tfl.nu/yn7x
  Replies (15) Good night (5175) Bad night (1873)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on

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  (604): This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on http://tfl.nu/bpc0
  Replies (5) Good night (2398) Bad night (1028)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.

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  (914): He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck. http://tfl.nu/kvtv
  Replies (10) Good night (2645) Bad night (929)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.

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  (920): I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone. http://tfl.nu/uom5
  Replies (14) Good night (1548) Bad night (781)
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  (914): View more from New York

  She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.

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  (914): She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch. http://tfl.nu/fvbm
  Replies (7) Good night (1350) Bad night (532)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk

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  (908): I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk http://tfl.nu/wvk1
  Replies (6) Good night (602) Bad night (926)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.

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  (505): He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him. http://tfl.nu/ihkb
  Replies (2) Good night (708) Bad night (538)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is

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  (780): I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is http://tfl.nu/n0jt
  Replies (6) Good night (378) Bad night (790)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha

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  (573): Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha http://tfl.nu/ecz2
  Replies (2) Good night (238) Bad night (722)
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!

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  (765): You made out with both twins? Ten points to you! http://tfl.nu/66hj
  Replies (3) Good night (713) Bad night (181)
• Favorite

  (302): View more from Delaware

  Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning

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  (302): Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning http://tfl.nu/3ky2
  Replies (0) Good night (120) Bad night (260)

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