Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?