Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
