I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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