just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
