I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
