Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
