So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
