he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize