Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
