I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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