Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
