We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
