I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
