it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Randomize
