I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
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I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
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Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
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