I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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