just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
