You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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