My liver just broke up with me...
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
she looked like the before picture.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
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