She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
did you just send me my own nude
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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