First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Randomize
