I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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