it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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