Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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