Got a toothbrush?
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I looked at my own cervix.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
