He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Randomize
