He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
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