hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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