ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize