Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Randomize
