i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
