I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
