If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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