I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
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I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
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