he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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