I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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