Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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