dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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