Who did Billy Mays play for?
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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