Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
