he told me I talked like a deaf person
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I think weed is turning my hair brown
These tits shall not be calmed
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Randomize
