Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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