my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
My dick has a subreddit
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
