Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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