who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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