I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Randomize