I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
So apparently I’m into choking now
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