AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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