Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I just pynch a tree in the face
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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