So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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