At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I think I am morally bankrupt
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
