shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
