who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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