I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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