i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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