the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
...so i touched it.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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