My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
